NO ONE SAID IT WAS GOING TO BE EASY

Hi All,
I write to you tonight on the eve of what would have been my father’s 76th birthday. He passed in 2011, and not a day has gone by that I haven’t missed him. Recently, I dreamt I was at a wedding and saw him sitting in the crowd. I walked over, and he looked so blissful stoned almost smiling ear to ear, his eyes nearly closed from joy. In reality, my dad wasn’t into pot or even booze. He was the quiet, M&M kind of dad. But in that dream he was laughing and grinning at me, and I woke with the image etched into my
soul.

When we were growing up, my dad used to tell us he worried about us kids. He said it was his job to worry. Now that I’m a father myself, I understand. The worry can consume you. And yet, this dream felt like a message that he’s done worrying. That he’s seen me steer my ship since his passing, and he knows I have what it takes. That he can finally rest in peace, or perhaps in joy.

These days, my reality is a blur of work, at home and at Late Sunday Afternoon. Most weeks feel like they collapse into a rhythm of Friday to Friday. Time becomes strange.

NO ONE SAID IT WAS GOING TO BE EASY 

It’s hard to imagine how our parents managed it, or how new parents today are managing. Raising humans is challenging enough. Harder still is holding on to the individuality that first drew you and your partner together. Life becomes logistics layered with emotions the constant hum of worry. And behind it all is the question: have I done enough of the inner work not to project my baggage onto my kids? Or
onto my partner?

My parents hadn’t done that deeper work. I grew up watching two people play at adulthood in form, but often stuck in adolescence in practice.

So I continue the work myself. I believe deeply in our brand’s motto: “How you speak to yourself is how you show up in your world.” My way of healing is to step into the fire, to ask where my reactions come from. Was that sharp tone just my mother’s voice echoing through me? Am I acting out like my father because my blood sugar is low and I’ve failed to take care of myself before walking into family life?

Doing the work is not easy, and no one ever promised it would be. In fact, if it were easy, it wouldn’t be the teacher we need. We are embodied here to do the work. To look closely at the things we’ve pushed away. To discover that perhaps the one we’ve been waiting for, all along, is ourselves.

Happy Last Days of Summer.

With Love,

Matthew Schildkret
Founder, Creator, & Humble Guide
Late Sunday Afternoon